busy

Not too long ago, a friend prefaced a request to hang out with the words: I know you’re super busy, but…

I felt myself cringe a little when I saw this. 

We talked about it later. And in talking with her, it became apparent to me that I had A LOT of feelings about this word, and all that was associated with it. Noticing my great resistance to this phrase got me curious enough to unravel my reaction… here’s what I came to understand. 

I used to be so busy. Busy busy. When people asked how I was, “busy” was my go-to response. I said it all the freaking time, I felt it, it was true. I was so busy. 

I used to race around town most days, from one thing to the next. Piecing together part-time jobs, spending 2 hours here, 1 hour there, driving all the time, struggling to find a moment of peace and quiet. Feeling like I needed to hold so much together, and never quite hitting the mark. 

Dr. Claudia Welch, the brilliant author of Balance your Hormones, Balance your Life, remarks that many people ~ especially women ~ mistake a state of constant stress for “having energy.” Can anyone relate?

When I began allowing myself to take time out, to pause throughout the day, to make space in my body and my mind by shifting my daily activities into a more sustainable, natural rhythm, I stopped feeling like I needed to rush around so much. I stopped feeling so overwhelmed. 

 

Ironically, when I started my own business, I took on a new, multi-dimensional level of work and responsibility. I opened myself up to more risk. But I was already anchored by a fundamental shift in my self-care that gave me more resilience than I’d previously known. I was doing plenty, starting from scratch in so many realms, but I no longer felt stressed, depleted, or constantly in a rush.

Once I started adopting these habits and evolving with my practices, I stopped using the word “busy.” It was a natural progression. I no longer felt that I was.

I have come to understand the difference between collapsing from non-stop days of “doing” and actual rest.

Rest implies intention. Rhythm, even. Spaces of restorative pause… while busy can imply rushed; hectic. Potentially unsustainable. Stressed. With constant stress in our organism, true rest can be elusive. Karen Brody of Daring to Rest has contributed much to the conversation on rest, which is ultimately a pretty radical act these days. 

In the last two years, I launched a business, a website, created a year-long course on Ayurveda and habit change, became a health coach, and put together a bi-annual guided cleanse program, among other things. I started putting myself out there in completely new and unfamiliar ways.

I do a lot. I’m doing plenty. It’s true.

And I also do a lot of not-doing. 

Being able to pulse between states of deep focus and productivity and deep nourishment and rest is key for a healthy nervous system, for a healthy mind-set, and more. Much stress arises when we’re not being intentional ~ with our rest or our work. Having some intelligent, functional boundaries with our time and energy goes a long way. 

I do a lot in the work arena some days. Less on others. There are challenges of all natures, I assure you. But it rarely feels like work. It is fantastically fulfilling. I love what I do. And when I’m veering into the hazardous realm of “too much doing,” I am aware of the ramifications. My body warns me. I let myself back off. I know where things are headed if I don’t. I’ve been there, done that. 

And since a health coach who isn’t using her energy in a sustainable way doesn’t have much of a foundation to stand on, let alone speak from, I actively prioritize deep rest. Restorative down time. Experiences that are deeply nourishing. Time for peace and quiet. Practices and rhythms in my day that replenish my energy, that fill my cup.

 

When I found myself reacting so strongly to the idea that I was “busy,” I realized upon reflection that busy to me feels uncomfortably close to “too busy.” And “too busy” is most definitely not ok. 

“Too busy” almost has an unspoken connotation: “too busy for what really matters.” 

And that’s where I draw the line. I refuse to be “too busy” to listen to myself. To stop and breathe. To play games with my family. To go on outings with my child. To do things I enjoy; to sit and unwind. Listen to the birds. Watch the clouds. Reflect. And to take action on things that will propel my growth. To gain knowledge and allow myself the space to digest, to integrate what I’m learning. To enjoy my life. 

 

Do you ever find yourself struggling to catch your breath because life’s gotten so busy? Wish you have a little more breathing room?

Are there things you’ve always wanted to do, or learn, or explore, but somehow always manage to get pushed aside… to the bottom of the list?

Dr. Claudia Welch says in this beautiful post: “We are afraid that, should we slow down and live the lives we want to be living, that everything will fall apart.”

For me, this fear was very real for a very long time. But as Dr. Welch goes on to say, “If we take little steps to slow our pace and have more time, we find life becomes more enjoyable, even easier; and we begin to gain the confidence to slow things down even further.”

I can attest. 100%.

Finding the balance between “doing” and “not-doing,” and giving ourselves permission for that “doing” to be in line with what actually matters to us, is at the core of health. This type of balance creates balance in our biochemistry. More enjoyable, indeed. 

Creating balance in our lives is a practice. Day-to-day, hour-to-hour, and moment-to-moment. And if you aren’t super skilled in this department, I have good news ~ you get better with practice.

 

You may feel “too busy” for something that deep down, really matters to you. Or perhaps there is another phrase that you find yourself using that seems to reinforce the habit of putting aside the things that you truly want. 

I’ve studied enough mind-body medicine and work on human potential to know by now that there is tremendous power even in the words we choose to shape and influence our physical reality. 

Here’s your invitation to retire a phrase or two that isn’t in line with the reality you want to create, and to bring in some new language that is. For me, it was spaciousness. Being. Breathing room. Deep rest. And more pause…

 

 

If you want some perspectives on creating a little more breathing room in your days, your schedule, your life… and your Self, come to this month’s free Community Call! Monday, 8/15/22 at 5:30 pm mountain time. You can sign up here. I’d love to see you there!